Sister’s keeper

Most of the most hurtful things ever said to me in my life were by another woman. I have come to realize that this is true for many women. Maybe men are too busy or they simply don’t go for the jugular like we do. How supportive are we of other women? How loyal are we to each other? Why do we judge each other so harshly?

If you have children and are a stay at home mum, other women are the first to say you just stay at home everyday and make no income. If your work takes you away from your kids, then they snidely say they can’t imagine anything being more important than family. If you are married, the most ‘remarkable’ in-law stories you probably have in your archives are about encounters with the females in your husband’s family. How about betrayal by friends? The most painful ones are by girlfriends. If you are unlucky with love, it’s probably because you are not a good person. If you stay in a bad marriage, you are weak. If you leave, you are impatient. Whatever you do, you just can’t win in the law court of women.

Is it envy or lack of empathy? I do not know. Someone has infertility, why would you think it must be something she did? A friend’s husband cheats openly, why would you say she’s probably lacking in some way and that’s his reason? A married man wants to date you, why can’t you just tell him off and send him on his way? If a woman had her baby by C-section and you have pushed out 7 babies without a tear, then good for you! You both don’t get a crown after the arduous journey.

Learn to be a sister’s keeper. You have nothing to lose by building a fellow woman up and you also have nothing to gain by tearing her down. In every situation, try and put yourself in her shoes before you judge. Respect people who are making tough choices you can’t imagine making and do not trivialize their efforts. Everything isn’t a competition. If you spend your weekends cooking 10 different meals, that doesn’t make you better than the woman who would rather just stretch out her legs, order in some food and relax with her family. It’s your choice. I enjoy baking. Most of what I bake can be bought quickly off the shelves but I enjoy huffing and puffing away in the kitchen and watching my recipes come to life. Choice.

If you have knowledge you think can be beneficial to another woman, share. If you have a job opportunity that might change someone’s life, please reach out. If you have gone through fertility treatments and was successful, please share your experience with other females. If you are a friend, be a loyal and honest one. If you are a mother-in-law, do not belittle your son’s wife. If we learn to stick up for one another, we can really make a lot of difference in our lives. When a sister succeeds, be happy for her. If she is in a difficult situation, pray for and with her.

Do not live your life tending to what people will say. You can never satisfy everyone. Pray daily for wisdom and always send out positive energy to others in case you get some of it back. Be your sister’s keeper.